The 4th of July

*Note: This is not a weightloss entry… I blame the 4th for throwing me currently out of whack…

Fireworks aren’t the best part of the 4th of July apparently… Though, they have always been my absolute favorite thing about the holiday. Actually, about any holiday that can hold fireworks. Especially my favorite thing to watch when down in Disney (7 and change months!).

Last night, I kissed my best friend during our area’s fireworks. Let me just say, it is a completely different experience when you have someone to share it with, which was a first for me (but always a dream). But I didn’t expect him to kiss me – or me to kiss back. Granted, as many of us know, I have been struggling with trying to figure out my feelings towards a certain Daniel. Well, last night, after said kiss, I think I may have finally come to terms with it.

And today, I am a complete nervous wreck over that… though the extremely uncomfortable feeling in my stomach may be a result of all of our jager shots from yesterday (deliciousness). But I am stressing now, and scared of what he’s going to think the day after – I was told not to worry because he “head over heels adores” me, but I can’t help it!!!!!!!!!!!

I think what scares me the most about this is that I’m more worried of his reaction than of the way I feel about it. Because I take back none of my feelings, I told him last night that I was tired of fighting with myself and had figured out that it was me myself (since Eric, etc. have let off of the pushing over the past month, huzzah!).

I’m also scared of the way people will be excited about it once anything gets put on facebook – because that was where we made it seem to be heading last night (and I’m scared he’ll change his mind on that).

I’m scared of how Saturday’s wedding is now an official date, whereas before we were going as friends.

I’m scared of Eric’s reaction. And him trying to be a part of it. And what it’s going to do to the three of us.

I’m a mess right now, can you tell??? UGHHHHHAGFLDEGFIHG.

How did I fall for the one person I didn’t want to fall for??

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Slim Em
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 15:29:41

    Isn’t it funny how it ends up working like that. This type of situation happened to me once. I would just calm down. Don’t worry about how other people feel about or what others think. Just enjoy the new relationship! Your friends will be fine and if they are your good friends they will be happy for you! Quite a 4th huh! = )

    Reply

  2. MrsWhiffin aka Angelbunni
    Jul 05, 2011 @ 16:53:21

    I kissed my best friend, and then married him 🙂 Go with it hun, if its meant to be then it will x

    Reply

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