The Silence…

Not quite what I meant

I’ve had a rough month… well, rough couple of months actually.

I’ve been sick for a while. Mostly just cold-type sick, the kind students pass around the classroom and teachers with weak immune systems catch, no matter how often they drink Emergen-C or take their vitamins or keep up to date on things. I catch everything my students have, I always did. But, starting in September, I was throwing up almost on a daily basis, and I had a sore throat (that really kinda started in August if I want to be truthful). I drank tons of water and tea just to keep my voice from cracking and the soreness from getting worse. I got to the point that about mid-October I went to the doctor, because I just felt like something was wrong that had me throwing up and sore all over like that (diagnosis: acute laryngitis). He gave me some medicine and told me I would get better.

Two days later, however, something else happened. In fact, it was a month ago today.

I lost my voice.

And, no, I don’t mean that I can whisper or create some noises like humming sounds. The only thing I can make, and have been able to make in a month, is a cough. Even when I gurgle water, the only noise you hear is the liquid bubbling in my mouth.

I remember a lot about the day I lost my voice – specifically how bad of a day it was. My voice had been hoarse the whole week (what most people consider losing their voice actually), and we had a last moment parent-teacher conference that I had to lead when I got to work (which, I got there late of course) and I had no idea what it was about since I didn’t schedule it. And then, we had an AR party that interrupted the day and threw all of my 5th graders off of their schedules… which, of course, threw their behavior off as well. Parents were in the school that day, and constantly coming in to see what was going on in the classroom and to try to conference with me while I was trying to teach. By the time I got to lunch, I was miserable and in pain. I grabbed our 5th grade teapot (one of our now ex-parents works for Teavana and spoiled us rotten) and filled it with tea for me to drink just to try to get through my last class of students.

I drank the entire pot of tea. And my drama club in the afternoon were directed to come in and work on the scripts they were writing… I didn’t have it in me to even give them instruction, I just felt so weak.

The entire drive home, I was crying because the day was just horrible. My glimmer of hope was Shaun had a call-in shift (which they never need him for), and if he didn’t go in we were going to the comedy club that night to see a friend.

Well, he got called in, and I fell asleep on the bed for a nap feeling completely defeated.

When I woke up? My voice didn’t wake up with me.

It’s been a month, and five doctors, with no answers. I haven’t been able to work since then (try teaching 70 rambunctious 5th graders with no voice and see what happens), and am still fighting off constant laryngitis and other things. I’ve noticed over the past two weeks that light bothers me now, and lots of sound. I get dizzy easily. It’s weird to think it’s all connected to my voice… but, for some reason it is.

So… why am I writing about this out of nowhere, when it’s been almost a year and a half since I’ve written anything? Well… I needed to get my thoughts on it out somewhere. And, if it just so happens that I get through this, or get an answer, and someone else starts going through the same thing… well, maybe it’ll help them. I’ve scoured the internet for HOURS trying to find something similar to me. And do you know how hard that is to find?

I feel for Shaun, having to interpret everything his wife is saying (oh, yeah, hey, I got married). Having to provide for both of us on his movie theater job while looking for something more “adult.” Not knowing what our future is going to hold and having to live in constant distress.

It’s scary. I’m terrified. I’ve always relied on my voice, and even though I go through constant bouts of hoarseness with it (I’m always sick in my throat, always), I’ve never had this happen before. And currently, my career is hanging on the line with it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen… outside of my husband and I continuing to rely on one another, and learning how to communicate thoughts in different/unique ways. I do know one thing for sure though….

Silence isn’t golden.


Some fitness motivation

Looking for a reason to workout? Try one of these 50…

(Yes, I owe you a big update. Soon I promise. Not at 4 am though! Lol)


When enough is enough

Trying to help Shaun understand the world of exercise and healthy eating is proving to be like trying to teach a cat to bark. It’s rough, and has caused a lot of strain. Yes, we’ve cut down our soda intake from about 7-12 each a day (it was bad) to 1 for me and 2 for him and that’s a big deal with its own headaches. And I’ve gotten him to stop eating meatball sandwiches at subway so now he gets something that at least has green on it… But anything after that, he tries to run to the other room and hide.

When we had started running training (the few times our schedules allowed us to do so during school), his parents didn’t believe me when he said he was running.

It’s extremely frustrating. And more so because I know that’s why I’ve gotten so lazy in my own lifestyle. It’s been easier to just order pizza and then take a nap. I’m so tired of it.

Working disaster helps because it’s high paced and very physically challenging.

But I’m tired of hiding behind ordering pizzas or take out food. I’m tired of tv marathons. That’s stopping, at least for me. Shaun can join in if he wants and I hope he does. I hope he sees that he is living very unhealthy. We bought food for lunch so I got veggies and lean burgers and no rolls. And I’m planning on running today and yoga and packing. Shaun can join in where he sees fit.

There comes a breaking point for everyone in when they really start caring. I’ve been logging for a week on LoseIt (be my friend if you have it!), and have been more conscious of it all. Most importantly, I’ve at least tripled my water intake. Now it’s time to step up the exercise and really commit. 🙂

I found this on Pinterest and felt inspired:


Morning update

I know I just wrote last night but… I had to do a little phone update to share this. See that spike? That’s the heaviest I’ve EVER been in my life. I’m about 12 pounds down from that (yay!) so I’m feeling good this morning. 🙂


The Challenge

Ok, bear with me, my brain is going about 20 different directions tonight after working a closing shift at Universal (wait, what? When did I switch from Disney to Universal??? WELLLLLLLL……. Maybe that can be another post! But Universal is just a part-time job I started to have me not being bored in the summer while I’m not teaching!), so I felt the need to blog.


Do you know the toughest thing about trying to get back on track while living in Florida? I had planned ALLLLLL day to go for a run once I got home from work because I knew I had extra energy (I slept in! Huzzah!!!), but of course it starts with a lightning storm as soon as I step out of work. I got done at 9:30, almost 3 hours ago. It’s still storming. And Florida is ALWAYS like this, I plan to run, and it rains as soon as I have a chance to go! 😦 Boo.

So, I’m doing a back up type of workout. Namely: cleaning, and quasi-packing for the big move at the end of next month! woot woot! 😀

So many things in my life you dear readers don’t know about because I’m a horrible blogger! So sorry about that!


So, about the title of this post (see? I told you… MIND. EVERYWHERE.)…. my mom has challenged Shaun (the boyfriend) and I to lose 25 pounds between the two of us by the end of this month. Which is really what helped kickstart this getting-on-track-again bit. I mean, we had planned to revamp our eating habits and start running training with it being summer and me not teaching anyway, but it gives us a good incentive.

this was us a year ago… in our Iron Man glory! And look at my pretty hair, I miss it 😦


andddd us back in May. I love and hate this picture. Love because, well BOBA FETT and hate because of how terrible I look!


we definitely have the weight to lose. My mom had us take pictures of our feet on the scale when we started and then we’re going to take pictures again at the end of the month. I can’t tell you where we’re at now though… our scale is broken. I mean, I don’t think I went from 237 to 102 in just over a week. That would be bad. And seeing as I still look like the girl in the Boba Fett picture (but with super short hair now), I don’t think it’s true.

It is kinda really sad that the only pictures we have of each other are actually only selfies because I hate seeing myself. The only reason this picture made it online in the first place was because of who we got to meet… my face is even blotchy from crying, a sight I would never allow on the web!

Goal: see this girl? She was in a size 12 just last April. This was me 70 POUNDS ago. I know i can do that and more.


I wore this blue dress a couple months back, and let me tell you it looked nothing like this on me. It barely covered my butt! But, I know I can get back to her again – a girl who was just starting to feel okay with herself and was on the way to being healthy.

Which is why I jumped at the chance of my mom’s challenge. Shaun wasn’t as keen, but I think that’s partially because this is his first time ever doing anything concerning weight loss besides a few runs with me. The poor boy.


So, in honor of the challenge… what are things you’ve found that work? That didn’t work? I’m trying to help Shaun understand what to eat and do and what’s bad (hard for picky eaters like us!), but it is definitely a struggle. Where were the little things you started with? If you were to start fresh, what would be your biggest goal?



I’m going to try to really use this blog again… it was a motivation for me when I could use it often. So hopefully I’ll get some of the pages up top updated with new things and whatnot. Stay tuned! 🙂


Getting back in the saddle

Moving to Florida one thing has become a bigger struggle than in Delaware: my weight. This time last year, I was almost 70 pounds lighter than I am now. 


But, I don’t know where to start or what to do. All I know is I do have a half marathon in November (the Avengers 1/2 to be exact, in Disneyland), then planning on Glass Slipper next February. So I gotta do something.



Revenge of the Disney Magic

During my CP program, I had the awesome opportunity of not only attending my very first Star Wars Weekend, but going to all four of them for the 2013 year AND working every single day of the four weekend festival. It was an intense month that ended just last night, but it was probably the absolute best part of my Disney career so far – though next year, I think I’ll just settle for actually going for a full day of it and seeing some shows. 🙂

Working SWW had both good parts and bad parts to it.

The bad parts (because you always end with good notes!) : I never once saw the Hoopla; I’ve only seen 1 Star Wars show out of the four weekends;  it was e x h a u s t i n g; exhausting doesn’t cover it; 30 hours of work between 3 days; making people upset over not having things that sold out the first day; listening to people complain about the fact that Star Wars Weekends was disrupting their vacation because the park was crowded on the day they wanted to come to Studios; I can’t get the Cantina Band song out of my head.

The good parts: I spent 12 days completely surrounded by Star Wars; getting to go for all four weekends; Ray Park being 10 feet away from me; seeing Warwick Davis’ short story in person; meeting a lot of fantastic people; 30 hours of work between 3 days; being followed backstage by Darth Vader; hugging Ewoks like it’s my job; actually getting paid to hug said Ewoks (they were plush dolls, don’t get excited); Ewok Dale trying to steal me from Shaun (he didn’t like that part); getting to work somewhere completely different than Downtown Disney; getting to work in Hollywood Studios… that’s just breaking the surface.

Long story short, if you work for Disney and have a chance to do a festival, especially SWW, do it. It’s such a great experience.


I think the most annoying part of it all however was how people kept making comments about how Disney now owns Star Wars, so they were like “wow, Disney really jumped on that quickly… look Mickey’s a Jedi.”




Star Wars Weekends started in 2000 people. It’s nothing new.



I mean, seriously, this happened in 2011 when Star Tours 2.0 opened up:



Sorry, that was a little mini rant about it. lol.


But I just wanted to give a little update really quickly about how amazing of an experience the past 4 weeks were… now I am off to spend time with Shaun and the parents who are in town for the weekend at Universal (I feel like a traitor!).


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