The Silence…

Not quite what I meant

I’ve had a rough month… well, rough couple of months actually.

I’ve been sick for a while. Mostly just cold-type sick, the kind students pass around the classroom and teachers with weak immune systems catch, no matter how often they drink Emergen-C or take their vitamins or keep up to date on things. I catch everything my students have, I always did. But, starting in September, I was throwing up almost on a daily basis, and I had a sore throat (that really kinda started in August if I want to be truthful). I drank tons of water and tea just to keep my voice from cracking and the soreness from getting worse. I got to the point that about mid-October I went to the doctor, because I just felt like something was wrong that had me throwing up and sore all over like that (diagnosis: acute laryngitis). He gave me some medicine and told me I would get better.

Two days later, however, something else happened. In fact, it was a month ago today.

I lost my voice.

And, no, I don’t mean that I can whisper or create some noises like humming sounds. The only thing I can make, and have been able to make in a month, is a cough. Even when I gurgle water, the only noise you hear is the liquid bubbling in my mouth.

I remember a lot about the day I lost my voice – specifically how bad of a day it was. My voice had been hoarse the whole week (what most people consider losing their voice actually), and we had a last moment parent-teacher conference that I had to lead when I got to work (which, I got there late of course) and I had no idea what it was about since I didn’t schedule it. And then, we had an AR party that interrupted the day and threw all of my 5th graders off of their schedules… which, of course, threw their behavior off as well. Parents were in the school that day, and constantly coming in to see what was going on in the classroom and to try to conference with me while I was trying to teach. By the time I got to lunch, I was miserable and in pain. I grabbed our 5th grade teapot (one of our now ex-parents works for Teavana and spoiled us rotten) and filled it with tea for me to drink just to try to get through my last class of students.

I drank the entire pot of tea. And my drama club in the afternoon were directed to come in and work on the scripts they were writing… I didn’t have it in me to even give them instruction, I just felt so weak.

The entire drive home, I was crying because the day was just horrible. My glimmer of hope was Shaun had a call-in shift (which they never need him for), and if he didn’t go in we were going to the comedy club that night to see a friend.

Well, he got called in, and I fell asleep on the bed for a nap feeling completely defeated.

When I woke up? My voice didn’t wake up with me.

It’s been a month, and five doctors, with no answers. I haven’t been able to work since then (try teaching 70 rambunctious 5th graders with no voice and see what happens), and am still fighting off constant laryngitis and other things. I’ve noticed over the past two weeks that light bothers me now, and lots of sound. I get dizzy easily. It’s weird to think it’s all connected to my voice… but, for some reason it is.

So… why am I writing about this out of nowhere, when it’s been almost a year and a half since I’ve written anything? Well… I needed to get my thoughts on it out somewhere. And, if it just so happens that I get through this, or get an answer, and someone else starts going through the same thing… well, maybe it’ll help them. I’ve scoured the internet for HOURS trying to find something similar to me. And do you know how hard that is to find?

I feel for Shaun, having to interpret everything his wife is saying (oh, yeah, hey, I got married). Having to provide for both of us on his movie theater job while looking for something more “adult.” Not knowing what our future is going to hold and having to live in constant distress.

It’s scary. I’m terrified. I’ve always relied on my voice, and even though I go through constant bouts of hoarseness with it (I’m always sick in my throat, always), I’ve never had this happen before. And currently, my career is hanging on the line with it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen… outside of my husband and I continuing to rely on one another, and learning how to communicate thoughts in different/unique ways. I do know one thing for sure though….

Silence isn’t golden.

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Morning update

I know I just wrote last night but… I had to do a little phone update to share this. See that spike? That’s the heaviest I’ve EVER been in my life. I’m about 12 pounds down from that (yay!) so I’m feeling good this morning. 🙂

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The Challenge

Ok, bear with me, my brain is going about 20 different directions tonight after working a closing shift at Universal (wait, what? When did I switch from Disney to Universal??? WELLLLLLLL……. Maybe that can be another post! But Universal is just a part-time job I started to have me not being bored in the summer while I’m not teaching!), so I felt the need to blog.

Anywho

Do you know the toughest thing about trying to get back on track while living in Florida? I had planned ALLLLLL day to go for a run once I got home from work because I knew I had extra energy (I slept in! Huzzah!!!), but of course it starts with a lightning storm as soon as I step out of work. I got done at 9:30, almost 3 hours ago. It’s still storming. And Florida is ALWAYS like this, I plan to run, and it rains as soon as I have a chance to go! 😦 Boo.

So, I’m doing a back up type of workout. Namely: cleaning, and quasi-packing for the big move at the end of next month! woot woot! 😀

So many things in my life you dear readers don’t know about because I’m a horrible blogger! So sorry about that!

 

So, about the title of this post (see? I told you… MIND. EVERYWHERE.)…. my mom has challenged Shaun (the boyfriend) and I to lose 25 pounds between the two of us by the end of this month. Which is really what helped kickstart this getting-on-track-again bit. I mean, we had planned to revamp our eating habits and start running training with it being summer and me not teaching anyway, but it gives us a good incentive.

this was us a year ago… in our Iron Man glory! And look at my pretty hair, I miss it 😦

 

andddd us back in May. I love and hate this picture. Love because, well BOBA FETT and hate because of how terrible I look!

 

we definitely have the weight to lose. My mom had us take pictures of our feet on the scale when we started and then we’re going to take pictures again at the end of the month. I can’t tell you where we’re at now though… our scale is broken. I mean, I don’t think I went from 237 to 102 in just over a week. That would be bad. And seeing as I still look like the girl in the Boba Fett picture (but with super short hair now), I don’t think it’s true.

It is kinda really sad that the only pictures we have of each other are actually only selfies because I hate seeing myself. The only reason this picture made it online in the first place was because of who we got to meet… my face is even blotchy from crying, a sight I would never allow on the web!

Goal: see this girl? She was in a size 12 just last April. This was me 70 POUNDS ago. I know i can do that and more.

 

I wore this blue dress a couple months back, and let me tell you it looked nothing like this on me. It barely covered my butt! But, I know I can get back to her again – a girl who was just starting to feel okay with herself and was on the way to being healthy.

Which is why I jumped at the chance of my mom’s challenge. Shaun wasn’t as keen, but I think that’s partially because this is his first time ever doing anything concerning weight loss besides a few runs with me. The poor boy.

 

So, in honor of the challenge… what are things you’ve found that work? That didn’t work? I’m trying to help Shaun understand what to eat and do and what’s bad (hard for picky eaters like us!), but it is definitely a struggle. Where were the little things you started with? If you were to start fresh, what would be your biggest goal?

 

 

I’m going to try to really use this blog again… it was a motivation for me when I could use it often. So hopefully I’ll get some of the pages up top updated with new things and whatnot. Stay tuned! 🙂

~Courtney

Revenge of the Disney Magic

During my CP program, I had the awesome opportunity of not only attending my very first Star Wars Weekend, but going to all four of them for the 2013 year AND working every single day of the four weekend festival. It was an intense month that ended just last night, but it was probably the absolute best part of my Disney career so far – though next year, I think I’ll just settle for actually going for a full day of it and seeing some shows. 🙂

Working SWW had both good parts and bad parts to it.

The bad parts (because you always end with good notes!) : I never once saw the Hoopla; I’ve only seen 1 Star Wars show out of the four weekends;  it was e x h a u s t i n g; exhausting doesn’t cover it; 30 hours of work between 3 days; making people upset over not having things that sold out the first day; listening to people complain about the fact that Star Wars Weekends was disrupting their vacation because the park was crowded on the day they wanted to come to Studios; I can’t get the Cantina Band song out of my head.

The good parts: I spent 12 days completely surrounded by Star Wars; getting to go for all four weekends; Ray Park being 10 feet away from me; seeing Warwick Davis’ short story in person; meeting a lot of fantastic people; 30 hours of work between 3 days; being followed backstage by Darth Vader; hugging Ewoks like it’s my job; actually getting paid to hug said Ewoks (they were plush dolls, don’t get excited); Ewok Dale trying to steal me from Shaun (he didn’t like that part); getting to work somewhere completely different than Downtown Disney; getting to work in Hollywood Studios… that’s just breaking the surface.

Long story short, if you work for Disney and have a chance to do a festival, especially SWW, do it. It’s such a great experience.

 

I think the most annoying part of it all however was how people kept making comments about how Disney now owns Star Wars, so they were like “wow, Disney really jumped on that quickly… look Mickey’s a Jedi.”

 

…….

 

Star Wars Weekends started in 2000 people. It’s nothing new.

 

 

I mean, seriously, this happened in 2011 when Star Tours 2.0 opened up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68Ey-a_lN6s

 

 

Sorry, that was a little mini rant about it. lol.

 

But I just wanted to give a little update really quickly about how amazing of an experience the past 4 weeks were… now I am off to spend time with Shaun and the parents who are in town for the weekend at Universal (I feel like a traitor!).

 

The Mouse House

Hey guys remember me? Disney obsessed, ran two Disney races, attempting to lose weight in the process of life?

This girl? :

 

I know, I’m terrible at this whole updating business… As much as I try, it’s just hard to update a blog when you really don’t touch your laptop that often. There’s a lot that’s been going on the past few months, some of which I vaguely touched on the last post with saying “Oh hey, I work for Disney and ran a half marathon on my 24th birthday,” and some I completely left out like “Hey, so Dan and I broke up on mutual terms and are still best buds and now I have an amazing boyfriend in Florida who makes me the happiest… and I’m not only working for Disney on the college program but moving here and staying when it’s done and am doing ANOTHER half marathon this year in November.”

See? Updates need to happen more often.

 

But… I had a friend earlier who asked if I had blogged about any of my work experience at Disney, and said that she would definitely read it. And I got to thinking… huh, maybe I should do that. Bring the ole blog back to life again. You know, start writing more.

(who knows, maybe it’ll start me running again more and help with that aspect)

 

Which is what leads to this current post I’m writing right now.

I’ve been in Florida for 5 months already, and have only gone back to Delaware for two days since I moved down at the beginning of January. I was ready to come back here the second my plane landed in Philly actually. And, in all honesty, these past five months I have never been happier than I am now. Working for the Mouse has always been a huge dream of mine, since the really young age of four… but the reality of it has proved to be so much more than I ever hoped it could be. I’ve gotten to work at a lot of different locations, worn a bunch of costumes (some not so flattering – I mean, seriously? I looked like a fat, blue baby in one), and most importantly met some of the most amazing people ever.

Some of those people were pretty interesting too…..

 

 

 

 

 

So I’m going to be updating a bit more about what it’s like to work at Disney and everything like that….

 

For tonight, a bit about where I work.

I work in what’s called Zone 1 Number 1 in Downtown Disney – namely: Team Mickey, Tren-D, Disney’s Pin Traders, Marketplace Stroller and Wheelchair Rental, and a Bridgecart down by Fulton’s Crab House. Lots and lots of places. I’m also currently working Star Wars Weekends at Hollywood Studios, but that can be a different post for a different day.

I have three costumes I wear between the five places:

  

 

And I have had the chance to meet the best group of coworkers Disney could have given me for the perfect College Program (Note about this next picture, most of those featured have already gone home which is depressing… but the picture is from February, so it’s now 4 months old)….

 

I also get to spend my days off inside the parks playing and enjoying myself to no end – and I do just that on multiple occasions.

And, as much as I would love to go into even MORE detail about how wonderful my life is here and give you stories upon stories about what I do (though a lot would have to do with Ewoks at the moment due to SWW taking over my brain)… it is currently 2:30 in the morning, I worked a 12.5 hour shift yesterday/today, and am in the midst of a 60 hour work week while having not slept since Saturday night. So you shall just have to deal with what has been written for now. 🙂

 

Until next time, which will be in the next few days at the latest, ciao lovelies!
~C

I’m back! I swear!

AHHHHH I’m sorry! I really am! I wouldn’t be surprised if all of my followers left me 😦

If you didn’t notice from my last post… no, I didn’t fall off of the running bandwagon. In fact, I can cross a few things off of my Goals list you see above. I think I’ll do that at some point tonight since I’m trying to get my life updated. 🙂

For those of you who don’t remember me (it’s been a while since a real post), I’m Courtney/Kortni, and I have been struggling/working on losing weight for a while now. This specific journey I’m on now started last November actually. Unfortunately, I did slack a bit towards the end of summer with student teaching and gained a good bit of my progress back on, but now I am back in full force.

And by full force, I mean my workouts since last Monday (day off) consists of:

  • Tuesday 10/16: 2.16 mile treadmill Interval run for 32:20 minutes, at 14:58 average
  • Wednesday 10/17: hour gym workout with a mile run on the treadmill.
  • Thursday 10/18: 2.60 mile interval run for 37:25 minutes, at 14:23 average
  • Sunday 10/21: 4.0 mile interval run for 57:12 minutes, at 14:18 average.
  • Today 10/22: hour at BodyStep with mom… almost threw up after, so you know how intense that was!

And I’ve done both my second MudRun and the 10 miler race in the past month. and started training for my half marathon in February.

 

AND GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE DISNEY COLLEGE PROGRAM FOR SPRING. 

So I will be moving to Florida on January 3rd, and moving into my apartment on the 7th, to work at Walt Disney World for 7 glorious months. I’m excited.

And nervous.

Oh so nervous.

To the point that I cry on my boyfriend’s shoulder/stomach/back/anywhere at least once a weekend in fear because there’s so many emotions going through me that I kinda explode when he’s around.

Because, the truth is, I’m the most upset about leaving him.

Part of me, the part that knows Dan and knows myself completely, knows that he and I will work it out and make it through. Dan’s told me this. To the point that he’s said (just as recently as yesterday actually), “Even if I’m not physically there, I’m always with you and I’ll be by your side every step of this. And cheering you on. Because I love you.”

But… there’s the part of me that is use to my past relationships, and that’s the part that likes to take over my brain and mess with my emotions and make me scared.

So that’s something I’m going through right now. Big time. And of course, that’s messing with my weight as well since I’m so stressed.

 

Another stress:

I made this for my students!

 

My life is controlled by 24 third grade students. It’s getting easier now that I’m into my solo weeks, but it’s still a scary, daunting thing that I’m doing every single day. I’ve at least come to realize that running helps. a lot. So, when I’m starting to feel overwhelmed, I just go for my training… or I throw in some other type of killer workout, like I did tonight.

 

I just wanted to give you a life update, and ramble for a bit apparently. I’m going to try to start updating more often for you guys, but of course I can’t promise too much. 🙂

 

On a final note:

 

I’m bad at this…

I’m still here, I promise!

Disney is 35 days away and I’m stuck in a not wanting to train funk of course. I would love to say that the transition to student teaching, which has included hours of boring meetings this week, has been the culprit (only slightly…) but I know it’s not. It’s laziness. And I need out of the funk!

But I need to clean first, so that’s a priority to take care of right now because I need a place on my desk to do those millions of papers and lesson plans that will torment me the next few months. Lol.

After that, I’ll do yoga and the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I promise. And run tomorrow.

Just keep me accountable!!!!

I joined this app called SlimKicker that has points and achievements (kortni24 is my username if you use it), so hopefully that helps?

Any other suggestions for me to get this going again?

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