The Silence…

Not quite what I meant

I’ve had a rough month… well, rough couple of months actually.

I’ve been sick for a while. Mostly just cold-type sick, the kind students pass around the classroom and teachers with weak immune systems catch, no matter how often they drink Emergen-C or take their vitamins or keep up to date on things. I catch everything my students have, I always did. But, starting in September, I was throwing up almost on a daily basis, and I had a sore throat (that really kinda started in August if I want to be truthful). I drank tons of water and tea just to keep my voice from cracking and the soreness from getting worse. I got to the point that about mid-October I went to the doctor, because I just felt like something was wrong that had me throwing up and sore all over like that (diagnosis: acute laryngitis). He gave me some medicine and told me I would get better.

Two days later, however, something else happened. In fact, it was a month ago today.

I lost my voice.

And, no, I don’t mean that I can whisper or create some noises like humming sounds. The only thing I can make, and have been able to make in a month, is a cough. Even when I gurgle water, the only noise you hear is the liquid bubbling in my mouth.

I remember a lot about the day I lost my voice – specifically how bad of a day it was. My voice had been hoarse the whole week (what most people consider losing their voice actually), and we had a last moment parent-teacher conference that I had to lead when I got to work (which, I got there late of course) and I had no idea what it was about since I didn’t schedule it. And then, we had an AR party that interrupted the day and threw all of my 5th graders off of their schedules… which, of course, threw their behavior off as well. Parents were in the school that day, and constantly coming in to see what was going on in the classroom and to try to conference with me while I was trying to teach. By the time I got to lunch, I was miserable and in pain. I grabbed our 5th grade teapot (one of our now ex-parents works for Teavana and spoiled us rotten) and filled it with tea for me to drink just to try to get through my last class of students.

I drank the entire pot of tea. And my drama club in the afternoon were directed to come in and work on the scripts they were writing… I didn’t have it in me to even give them instruction, I just felt so weak.

The entire drive home, I was crying because the day was just horrible. My glimmer of hope was Shaun had a call-in shift (which they never need him for), and if he didn’t go in we were going to the comedy club that night to see a friend.

Well, he got called in, and I fell asleep on the bed for a nap feeling completely defeated.

When I woke up? My voice didn’t wake up with me.

It’s been a month, and five doctors, with no answers. I haven’t been able to work since then (try teaching 70 rambunctious 5th graders with no voice and see what happens), and am still fighting off constant laryngitis and other things. I’ve noticed over the past two weeks that light bothers me now, and lots of sound. I get dizzy easily. It’s weird to think it’s all connected to my voice… but, for some reason it is.

So… why am I writing about this out of nowhere, when it’s been almost a year and a half since I’ve written anything? Well… I needed to get my thoughts on it out somewhere. And, if it just so happens that I get through this, or get an answer, and someone else starts going through the same thing… well, maybe it’ll help them. I’ve scoured the internet for HOURS trying to find something similar to me. And do you know how hard that is to find?

I feel for Shaun, having to interpret everything his wife is saying (oh, yeah, hey, I got married). Having to provide for both of us on his movie theater job while looking for something more “adult.” Not knowing what our future is going to hold and having to live in constant distress.

It’s scary. I’m terrified. I’ve always relied on my voice, and even though I go through constant bouts of hoarseness with it (I’m always sick in my throat, always), I’ve never had this happen before. And currently, my career is hanging on the line with it.

I don’t know what’s going to happen… outside of my husband and I continuing to rely on one another, and learning how to communicate thoughts in different/unique ways. I do know one thing for sure though….

Silence isn’t golden.


Training Update

I know, I promised I would start updating more. I’m a horrible person. But… you must understand:

  • I’m in the midst of transitioning all of my stuff at work to the new girl.
  • I’m getting ready to start student teaching.
  • I am babysitting in my spare time to make money.
  • I just started playing Frisbee with Dan and his friends (yay exercise!).
  • I still have no time in life.

So, I am doing my training (I’ve missed 2 runs in the past few weeks due to the heat being so bad), but I haven’t had time to update about every one of them. I’ve meant to, I just haven’t had the chance.


But let me tell you about training this past Saturday (the 14th). Over the weekend, Leah was down, so she was forced to come with Angel and I to do our Saturday run. And Angel and I finally got back to running together (I’ve missed her).

The plan was to do either 4 or 6 miles on Saturday… in reality, we only did one lap of the park (which is 2.6 miles) since we were just getting back into the swing of long Saturday runs. We thought it would be best to do 1 lap this week, and then do 2 next week, getting us to 5.5, and letting our bodies readjust.

And then Angel decides at the end that since we’re doing only one lap, we had to throw a hill into our run. So we ran up a hill. A really really BIG hill. I swear, I almost died at the top. But I ran the whole thing! Which is a huge accomplishment for me.

And there’s ramps in the Tower run in *gulp* 75 days, so hill training is not a bad thing to do.


I’m hoping to get out tonight and do a couple of laps at the park close to my house (and say hi to everyone playing Frisbee of course), but we’ll see what this tickle in my throat and stuffed nose will let me do at the end of the work day.


Happy exercising everyone!!!! 🙂

(BTW, what are you all doing for exercise and such? Any big goals coming up soon?)

Getting a Bit Muddy

Did you miss me? Sorry, busy life (of course lol).

I’ve managed to cross another thing off my list this past weekend. Actually, I’ve crossed a few things off of my 101 in 1001 list, I just need to find them all.

For starters, I took my Praxis II exam last Saturday… and passed! WOOOOOO.

Really, that’s all there is to it about that one. lol.

Sunday on the other hand, I went with a group of people from Kamp to Delaware’s Mud Run (set up to help with Leukemia Research). And got muddy… and that’s an UNDERSTATEMENT.

So, this is going to be a photo update, but that’s the best way to show it to ya!

That’s me right in the dead center. My team (Kay’s Kamp Kicking Kancer in the Mud) are the pink/orange group, while the It’s Sparkle Time is one of the Kamp counselors (the really tall one) and her sisters. Obviously, this was before we got muddy.

And this was us AFTER the race! 2 hours and a 5k later (along with a bunch of other obstacles that we did – or didn’t – do).

Next year, please believe that we will be in better costumes… but I couldn’t have asked for a greater group of people to fall in the mud with!

Of course, it’s now Friday, and I am FINALLY feeling like I’m not going to be sick left and right. Huzzah for ice-mud making one sick? 🙂

A diet update! Oh goodness!

This morning, on my drive into work, I had the chance to listen to a Dr. Oz interview on the radio and hear some of his input on the dieting system. Some of the things he said made sense to me — like how you should not drink Skim milk at all due to studies showing that it won’t help you lose weight (when they take the fat out of something, what’s left?). Instead you should drink 2%, it’s the middle ground between the nutrients from whole milk and has less fat in it as well. 

He also talked about the HCG diet, which I am not going to comment on until I know more about it lol.

I think it’s about time for me to get back on track with life, especially with weightloss. I need to figure out a change though first, some type of detox. I feel like my body is decaying because everything I eat — salad, whites, wheats, dairy, sugar, meat, fat, fiber, carbs, everything — makes my stomach upset. And before I go to the doctor and ask for happy tummy pills, I want to see if cleansing will help out my system first. But… I don’t know the first thing about detox diets.

So, I know a few of my fellow bloggers should have some input/feedback that they can share… Any thoughts? Help? Please?!??! 🙂

Happy Friday!

Yes, I am aware that it is actually Thursday and not Friday. But, you need to remember, today is my Friday from work. Tomorrow starts my 3 day weekend of excellence, and is my Zumba Instructor Training!

I had a really bad night last night at school, resulting in me having to run out of my class a total of two times to use the bathroom. Because my stomach was upset from everything I ate. Now I’m not even sure how to count my calories from yesterday, because it felt like none of it even stayed with me!

I’m honestly not too sure how it is that I’ve gotten to be obese (thanks for the reminder Wii fit), and I’ll give you 3 reasons why:

1. I’m an extremely picky eater.
2. Most foods that I can/will eat make me sick (a la IBS).
3. Large meals make me sick as well (i.e. I can’t eat a full burger without it upsetting my stomach).

It just doesn’t add up… and those three points also make it hard for me to really follow diet plans. I don’t eat fish, corn (gross), mustard, mayo, tomatoes…. there’s a full list, but I’m not going to bore you with it. I love love LOVE Italian food, but, especially this past week, has been making me sick. My salad last night made me sick. I like meat, but can only eat half of it (which still leaves me hungry). It’s a never-ending cycle of food confusion, let me tell you.

Mom and I were researching stuff last night, trying to figure out why my stomach was flaring up so badly (I actually haven’t had any bad IBS in a few months now)… we were thinking it could be due to the bug I caught from my dad (gee, thanks. ugh), the heat (which I love by the way), or my stomach being all pissy for some reason right now. We figured out that it must be just stress, seeing as this starting to happen every day right around when I started to get harassed by Feather’s sister about the wedding stuff.

As for yesterday’s eating… you’re really going to start noticing a pattern in my eating habits haha.

Chobani Pineapple Yogurt ~ 160 cals
Cinnamon Rasin Bagel ~ 230 cals
Total: 320

Baked Ziti ~ 331 cals
Total: 331 cals

Chef Salad with Ranch ~ 450 cals
Coke Icee, 32 oz ~ 260 cals
Total: 710 cals

Watermelon ~ 46 cals
2 pieces of toast ~ 200 cals
Cups of Water: 9
Total: 46 cals

Calorie Intake: 1346 cals

walked with Mom and Sophie for 35 minutes ~ -265 cals

Net Cals for 6.1.11: 1081 calories

I still feel a bit crummy today, but I’m making my way through it I guess?

I’m thinking about trying a gluten-free type of diet to make my stomach feel a bit better, but I won’t be able to start that until next week (I blame a grad party this Saturday, where I know I will be drinking empty calories in like crazy…. oops).

Well, next time you hear from me, I’ll be a Zumba Instructor!

What are some foods that you definitely will not eat?
Do you have any suggestions for picky eaters?


uh oh

Crisis everyone.

I have a tickle in my throat, and my voice is a bit scratchy (ickkkk).

Any one have a remedy to keep me from getting sick for Friday’s training?

[speaking of Friday, don’t forget to look here for the “skeleton schedule” of my training for Zumba!]